Recently one of my students asked a question that deserves some honest attention: “What kind of therapy works?” There are a lot of modalities out there, and the popularity of each lasts about as long as a fashion style. Most even have their own acronyms: EMDR, SE, IFS, DBT, and so on. Pretty much every modality works for some people and not so well for others. No one wants to talk about this because it seems to devalue the years of education, training, and supervision it takes to enter the counseling professions and become certified in different techniques. But I see it differently. I think it shows just how important the people are to the process. What works in therapy is something much more personal, both simpler and more profound.

Good therapy has to do with presence. How deep is the practitioner’s awareness, how full is their attention. If you’ve ever been around a person who is completely there with you, who sees you as you really are, that’s presence. So if you’re looking for someone to support you through a difficult time in your life, I’d say, look for someone you naturally click with and who can bring their whole being into the room with you. 

As for what modality they practice, what’s most important is that they’ve made it their own. The most influential therapists have been the ones who have developed these tools, after all. Before a technique becomes a model, it is raw intuition and creativity. So whether someone has five credentials or just one, what matters is that they use their particular tools in a way that feels natural and genuine. A lot of different methods work, but beneath all of them is the essence of the person using them. 

And of course, no one can do your work for you, no matter how interesting and complex their process is. There is no magic fix. We heal when we are ready and in our own time; it’s not something someone else does for us. Having someone who sees your strength when you can’t see it can be a missing ingredient, the one that opens up the real possibility of something new emerging. And then, when you’re ready to let go of the old ways, you step into that possibility. There are many wonderful processes that facilitate change, but in the end, you and only you can put those changes into practice day by day.

We all have to take responsibility for our own feelings, our own reactions, and our own choices. But we are not alone here. Just the act of seeking help is a powerful statement of readiness for change. It’s one of the hardest steps, but it opens the way for many more to follow. With clear intention, authentic support, and practice, growth is inevitable!

Wishing you the right support at the right time, with ease,

Julia Aziz

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my mailing list to receive reflections like this in your inbox. You’re also welcome to check out my holistic psychotherapy services if you’re looking for a new practitioner.

I’ve been talking more about hypnosis lately, and I’m getting responses along the lines of, “You make people cluck like chickens, and that’s therapy?” I mean, these days, I’ve heard of stranger things, so maybe that would work! But hypnotherapy has nothing to do with stage performance or making people do things they don’t want to do. (I promise you, that’s not even in my wheelhouse.) I see hypnosis as a natural extension of meditation and a powerful healing tool that has been used in traditional indigenous cultures since the beginning of human time. It’s all about taking an inward journey to a deeper state of relaxation similar to lucid dreaming, where the body, mind, and spirit become more open and receptive to change. 

Doing hypnosis in therapy is like listening to a deeper and more personalized guided meditation, all in the service of some change you would like to see or some aspect of self you’d like to explore. It feels like a very relaxing imaginary adventure where you can energetically sense the shift you’ve been waiting for. Oftentimes, people have visions and feel a pretty profound uplift in mood and energy. Or you can stay closer to the surface and just enjoy a more restful mind. You are always in control of the experience and can come out of it at any moment. It’s very safe and surprisingly effective. 

Beyond the power of the hypnosis experience, the real point is to learn to access that quiet intuitive space as often as you can. That’s called self-hypnosis. When we relax our minds and enter a more creative sphere, we find new solutions, and, even more importantly, we find peace in situations that are normally stressful. In the end, it’s that moment-to-moment okay-ness with what’s happening that makes just about everything a little easier. 

People often have questions about hypnosis, and every hypnotherapist works a little differently. In my practice, hypnosis is a tool for releasing old, stuck patterns and coming into greater balance, ease, and well-being. It’s a natural, gentle way to access a relaxed, open mind where the seeds of change can really take root. I sometimes incorporate hypnotherapy for help with:

• Anxiety
• Pregnancy symptoms and/or childbirth preparation
• Parenting stress 
• Moving on from an old relationship
• A relentless inner critic 
• Confidence-building
• Career changes 
• Stress-related health issues 
• Facing the loss of a loved one 
• General stress management 

I don’t use hypnosis with everyone I work with because it’s not what everyone needs, and I feel strongly about working with people in the way that feels best to them. But hypnosis is a great tool for those who want to try something new. If you’re curious or know someone you think might benefit, feel free to check out my counseling services. We’ll see what would be most helpful to you, and take it from there.

Wishing you much peace in this moment and in all the ones that come next,

Julia Aziz