I love the forward momentum of January. People are making changes and trying new things, taking action on goals that have often been incubating for quite a while. I look around and see motivation and willpower. The new direction can even feel easy at first. We may wonder why it took so long to make these changes that clearly needed to happen. It feels empowering, right?
The trouble is that willpower is like kindling in a fire: it can flare up fast and bright, but it won’t sustain the flame for long on its own. After an initial period of success with our best intentions, some kind of obstacle shows up. It can be an external obstacle, like a family emergency that throws everything off. Or the inner rebel busts through and says, “hey, why do you have to be so “good” anyway? You don’t really need to be doing all this. You should back off, give yourself a break.” Wherever it comes from, something eventually challenges the will for its power.
This is why, come February, all those new gym memberships start getting less use, diets are quit, and people start backsliding with exes. So how do we get out of this push forward/pull back dynamic? The whole process of purposeful change longs to be more gentle and natural, rather than aggressive and eventually running out of fuel.
It has to do with respecting cycles and receiving support. We learn to balance the masculine energy of focus and action with the feminine energy of receptivity and going with the flow. Instead of relying on willpower, we learn to be willing. We can have less control yet be more in sync, and therefore more effective.
Being proactive about support is key. When we surround ourselves with people and practices that encourage and strengthen us, we will be in much better condition when the obstacles show up. If you’re in Austin, you are welcome to join me at our free Community Wellness Hour every Wednesday at AOMA. It’s a great place to do inner work while in community. I am also offering free assessments to identify what you personally need to move forward in a balanced and sustainable way. We’ll identify next steps to support you, whether we continue to work together or not. I currently have space for 3 individual clients, and in addition to heart-centered counseling, I teach self-hypnosis and other self-healing tools you can use on your own. If you’re interested, email me to set up a call at firstname.lastname@example.org or fill out this form.
May you be supported in the changes that serve the highest good within you, and may you find grace in the process as it unfolds.
All my love,