Friends, we’ve been living like automatons in systems we expected to function like clockwork, and the illusion is breaking loose right now. There is a lot of anxiety about change, death, losing loved ones before we had more time with them, being bereft of resources and assistance when we need it most. Fear, grief, and a control pattern that is the hallmark of the modern western world is being played out on the big stage right now. There is so much to learn here.
The mind wants to understand, and when it can’t, it seeks to control. That’s OK, it’s just what the mind does. Fortunately, we don’t have to base our command center in the intellect. Here are a few opportunities my heart sees coming along with death, loss, health and mental health crises, quarantines, cancellations, and financial meltdowns:
Whenever things seem uncertain and falling apart, it’s a perfect time to clean up your side of any relationship messes. There’s a process to this, of course, and support if you need it. But the gist is this: Do what you need to do, and say what you need to say. It’s so important to feel at peace in your own heart, knowing you did what you could do. From my experience working with the dying and terminally ill, I can tell you this: forgiveness is medicine for humans facing their mortality. Forgiveness can mean setting boundaries, ending relationships, and/or re-connection–whatever happens, the past is accepted and left in the past. What’s most important is clearing the mental, emotional, and energetic space inside so there’s room for more love. We all take our leave of this life eventually, though I am not bringing this up because I think we are all going down with the ship today. I am saying this because this is the healthiest way I know how to live what days we have left here with each other.
Adaptability with Generosity
Louise Liller, one of the most adaptable, generous people I know, recently wrote: “There are things we do for ourselves, and there are things we do because we live in community with other people. We wash our hands, not only for ourselves, but for others who may have weakened immune systems. I wash my hands for my friend who just had cancer removed from her brain. I wash my hands for my teacher who is in a coma and has pneumonia. I wash my hands for my childhood friend who was born with a genetic disorder that affected her lungs. I wash my hands because I care about other people.” There are easy changes we can all make to help one another. Washing hands, not taking all the supplies in the grocery store, calling elderly friends and anyone who already lives in too much isolation, just to lend a hand or let them know we care: this we can do.
When the unknown threatens to break you, a little appreciation celebration may lift and strengthen your spirits—even if you are the only attendee. For me, this often looks like building a fire, beating a drum, singing and dancing, sharing some good news with my main support people, going for as long a hike as possible, or just checking out a flower.
Dearest fellow humans, we are in this together. The way we’ve been living has caused us to forget how much we depend on nature, and how much we depend on each other too. Maybe now we can remember.
With the kind of hug who knows you’re in there,
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PS-If you need help releasing stress and finding your center again, please reach out to me or to someone else you feel comfortable with. In addition to weekly and biweekly holistic psychotherapy, I also offer healing sessions with guided meditation, sound, and movement both in-person and remotely. Regular emotional release is like drinking water for your body. Our feeling bodies need the flow of emotion coming through. For me, this work is best done through the physical body, with the spirit.