uncertaintyandchange

When you’re unsure and asking, “What should I do?”

/ Julia Aziz / Leave a comment

As I write this, I’m watching birds nibble from the bird feeder out my window. They love when the feeder is full; they visit many times throughout the day. When the feeder is empty, they go elsewhere. Seeking direction on our own life questions, could the next steps somehow be as clear? 

Uncertainty is intrinsic to this human adventure, so asking “What should I do?” makes sense. But who gets to determine the answer? Are we meant to follow what other people do? What they say they do? What most people do? 

The problem in looking to outward authority is that no one else is living our whole story. No other person has experienced our childhood, our lineage, our hardships, and our particular gifts and blessings. There is no end to the influencers, gurus, teachers, and leaders who will speak authoritatively on how to live a life. But they too are unique and fallible human beings, no matter how wonderful, wise, or worldly.

What works for some doesn’t necessarily work for all. So what if we junk the “should” question, and wonder instead,

“What will I do?”

A question like this can feel silly, trivial, like child’s play. Maybe that’s because it points towards a subtle, innate way of discerning the dominant Western paradigm has taught us to dismiss rather than claim. Play with the question when feeling in need of advice, and perhaps in time, a phrase, an image, a sensation, a flash of remembrance–some tiny pull towards what’s next might come along. 

Or maybe no response arrives. It may not be the right time to know.

Maybe instead, it’s an opportunity to shed some material things and obligations we don’t really need. 

With the extra time and space, we’ll see what happens next. Maybe follow what feels natural from there.

With more bird seed in that feeder, undoubtedly more birds will come. They go towards what nourishes them. We can remember how too.

Believing in us, and in you,

Julia Aziz

PS- Could you use some deeper support in accessing your own felt truth as you navigate challenging times? See different group and individual offerings here. And if you’re curious about this topic and related contemplations, please do sign up for my mailing list.

Image by Les Bohlen from Pixabay. I’m not quick enough to capture the birds!

Changes that feel uncomfortable, inevitable, and not quite here yet

/ Julia Aziz / Leave a comment

“Things feel uncomfortable, uncertain, surreal.”

“I know something is changing, but I have no idea what’s next.”

“I’m not sure what’s happening, how I feel, or why!”

I’ve been hearing these themes a lot lately. Some feel they’re at an unfamiliar crossroads; others are grappling with existential questions. In this Great Unsettling, it seems as if one phase is shifting without us knowing what the next one will be. Like driving through a fog and missing all the signposts, it’s a vulnerable time to be moving through.

What’s exhausting you could be your vehicle of transformation

If we accept the truth of what’s happening now, we can “offer up” our weariness, confusion, and existential uncertainty. Offering means we let what is hard for us become sacred. We acknowledge that the road ahead runs precisely through the territory we like to avoid, and we take that road in the spirit of soul growth, with courage. Surrendering some resistance, we may feel more open to receive from unexpected directions.

Changing the questions we’re asking

When we can say “I don’t know” honestly, with open curiosity, “What’s the point?” may no longer be such a heavy question. There’s something about admitting lack of control that frees up the mind to see things differently. We come back to what’s in front of us right here. Rather than “What do I do?” we might ask, “What do I do next?”

Remembering where to find the inner compass

I’ve never been one for roller coasters or winding mountain roads. I feel that instability deep in my core, right away! Maybe you’ve got the stomach for turbulence, though you still may not feel thrilled by the ride of personal and collective change. It helps to know if there’s a voice inside saying “Aghhhhhhh!!!”, there’s also one that’s good at handling things. It’s the part of us that shows up for other people when they need it. That competent, fierce, adaptable part has a better sense of direction than the tired and frightened inner child. In this new terrain, we might intentionally ask the inner adult to take the wheel.

New rules to the game? 

There’s not just one insight that changes everything, and then we’re good to go forever more. So much spiritual seeking seems to have this flavor of “if I just change in this one way, I’ll be golden, and then I can finally coast.” Who came up with this silliness? Everything alive on this earth is in some cyclical process. Life is temporary; the mystery of life is always. 

Upwards Spiral image

If you’re struggling to find your way, I hope you reach out and ask for some help. We’re really not meant to be doing all this life stuff alone. When there’s too much constriction to let in support, clearing some things out can make all the difference. Change, of course, requires some creativity–and undoing.

Wherever we go, I’m glad to be on this wild ride with you,

Julia Aziz

PS- Here’s a little off-the-cuff, less than two minute audio to support you in these strange times: Get the “Rapid Reset for Instability” practice audio.