newyearvision

Orienting in uncertainty

/ Julia Aziz / Leave a comment

This past summer I got to have another face-to-face encounter with a black bear. I was going down the winding mountain trail, she was going up, and we both stopped short upon meeting each other. I took a small step back to give her more space, trying not to fall off the mountainside. She quickly sussed me out, then turned and headed into the forest. I stood there watching her go, wistful and graced.

Every time I see a bear, I’m struck by the relaxed, easeful way they move. When they encounter something unexpected, they’re immediately alert and responsive. Then they go back to being relaxed again. Wouldn’t this be a powerful way to approach the uncertainty of our times? Relaxed and responsive, calm and available to act when needed. I like it!

I think about bears more often than most, but I still get the shock of “Oh! This is really happening now!” when I actually see one. Most of life is not so compelling. This kind of wake up call to aliveness is harder to come by when paying bills or brushing teeth. Though those mundane tasks may be exactly where more presence could help!

It makes me think of my dear friend Svenja, who died this past spring on the precipice of becoming an empty-nester. Sven was a master of savoring the moment, someone I could always count on to both dive deep and find humor in all things. On hospice care in her final weeks, one of the last texts she sent me said:

“I don’t feel like talking, It’s all a bunch of Hoo Ha. I just want to see stuff and taste stuff…”

It is all a bunch of Hoo Ha, isn’t it? We only get the moments we get. It’s a gift when we fully experience the small, everyday sensory experiences while they’re here. After all, this is really happening right now!

The point isn’t to be commanding “Be grateful!” at ourselves or each other in the little moments. Like Sven, who didn’t like to be too precious about things, we can take the pressure off. Savoring is not clinging–it fiercely appreciates then lets go. Savor and release. Relax and respond. Here and now, here and now.

I used to build forts in the woods with the neighbor kids when I was young. Storms would come, we would forget about these refuges for a while, then we’d go back and have to refortify. I think we’re in a time of inner fortification right now. We’re remembering what matters, replenishing the strength and courage we’ll need as our collective human story continues. My question is, what is this time of change asking of you?

Wishing you time to reflect, savor, and fortify—not just now, but any time you need to,

Julia Aziz

PS–If you’d like more support navigating these challenging times, we have spots available in the next season of Release & Empower: A Group Program for Women Moving Through Change. Or if you’d prefer individual counseling, please check out my psychotherapy page.

Sign up for my mailing list and receive a few easy-to-use tools for self-compassion

Reviving Into A New Year

/ Julia Aziz / Leave a comment

The other day, I was sitting outside with a cup of tea when a butterfly came for a visit. She fluttered around, then perched on the side of my cup, closer and closer to the edge, until she fell in. It took a few moments for me to find a twig and rescue her, lifting her drenched and struggling little body onto the rock next to me. I tried to use my breath to dry her off, but she was barely moving. I watched as she brought her little antennae to press lightly and repeatedly on her chest, almost as if she was giving herself CPR. For a long time, she just laid there still, and I figured that was the end. I went for a walk, thinking maybe I’d bury her later to honor what I had witnessed. After a half hour or so, I came back, and there she was–upright on the rock now, starting to flutter her wings a little bit. Surprised, I watched her for a while more, then took a break. By the time I came back, she had flown away. 

Revive. This word feels like it’s been taken by fundamentalists, but let’s think about it. To Bring Life Back. Wow! Nature is amazing. We have the capacity to return to life. Our metaphorical revivals are not always met with a lot of fanfare. They are often quiet, slow moving, and subtle. Nevertheless, they are real, and they are necessary.

As we enter this new year, I wonder, where have you been living a half-life, and what revival may be underway for you? This is an individual and a collective contemplation. It’s easy to see all the problems; so much in our lives and our world is not working. To be able to see differently is a big deal–maybe even essential for a new way to emerge. In 2024, my wish for all of us is to return to life with new vitality and vision, especially in the areas that need it most. 

What is the strategy here? The old way of pushing an agenda and trying to make things happen no matter the fallout has caused plenty of suffering already. What if instead we (1) take the risk of following curiosity, even if it means falling in the cup of tea (2) claim the heart’s longing to feel and revive and (3) receive the patience and support we need. Then rather than “making” transformation happen, we “let” it happen. Big vision, tiny changes. Everything grows, or returns to life, one day at a time.

Many many blessings upon you and your loved ones, and all beings of this earth, in this new year,

Julia Aziz

PS- If you could use more support in envisioning and allowing change, check out the Release & Empower Women’s Circle or my 1-1 psychospiritual counseling or consultation services. And if you’d like to receive occasional articles on self-healing and empowerment in your inbox, just sign up for the mailing list here.

May we remember that people on the other side of the internet are real, just like we are, with real feelings. May we remember how wonderful it is to learn from different perspectives. Let us find radical acceptance for ourselves and each other, and learn a new way of peace.