There are two reasons I usually don’t post on Mother’s Day: (1) In my own home life, this time of year tends to feel like a parenting marathon, without much room for extra writing. And (2) I am sensitive to the reality that many of my readers are grieving on this day, whether that be for their mothers or for children they’ve lost or didn’t have. A simple “Happy Mother’s Day” message never feels right. But I gave it more space and decided to write this year because I think we could all use some deeper acknowledgement.

If you’re a mom having a hard time staying centered, perhaps without enough room for true self-care, please see my recent post with some free gifts for moms. There you’ll find a recorded talk about on-the-go, in-the-moment emotional release tools and a book guide with contemplative practices. These are offerings to you, dear mama, with an underlying wish for you to receive, receive, receive and let your needs matter. Let’s celebrate not only the essential role you’re playing in our society but your humanity too!

If you may be grieving on Mother’s Day, know that the longing and loneliness of these sorts of holidays is felt with you by so many others across the land and throughout generations. I’m not going to try to sugarcoat what you’re going through though. My wish is for you to receive the space you need to honor your loss(es) and your feelings without comparisons or pressure of any kind.

If you feel ambivalence towards your mom or Mother’s Day, this goes for you too–relationships aren’t black and white, and you feeling all the grays in between is honest and real. (By the way, I know it’s not a popular thing for a therapist to say, but I’ll say it: if you need distraction and avoidance, that’s completely OK too!)

If you’re doing alright but haven’t had a moment to think about Mother’s Day, I wish you self-acceptance and grace in this busy spring. Whatever happens, I hope you get to not plan it 😉

Mother’s Day can wonderful, and it can also be a mixed bag no matter how your life story has played out so far. But whether you feel disappointed and unseen or grateful, loved, and nourished, it’s still just a day. I hope you take this day and use it however you want. I hope you embrace yourself in all your complex facets, shadow and light–the whole messy picture beyond the roles you play in others’ lives. May you gift yourself complete permission to feel however you feel and do things your own way.

In honor and celebration of our diverse human experiences, with love,

Julia Aziz

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